...And Still I Voted
I always hear people talk about feeling excited to vote because a candidate piqued their interest. I’ve never really understood voting because a candidate touched me or made me feel special. For me, voting was always about paying homage to those who fought for me to have the right to vote. My grandmother was a poll worker and my uncle was involved in local politics. He talked to me often about why local elections matter and explained the different amendments to me. He got me my first summer job after I finished high school interning for Detroit City Council. So, when I turned 18, I was excited to finally register to vote and do my civic duty. I still remember voting in the Detroit Mayoral Election for the first time in 2001. The candidate I chose later went on to cause a huge city scandal and is now considered one of the worst mayors our country has ever seen…
… but still, I voted.
In 2004, I forgot I would need an absentee ballot to vote in the Presidential Election since I would be on my college campus. After calling my family distraught because I lived in a swing state and would totally blame myself if Bush won a second term, my grandfather drove 45 minutes to pick me up from school and took me to my polling place. He then drove another 45 minutes to get me back to campus on time for an evening class. My candidate didn’t win that year…
… and still, I voted.
In 2008, I voted in a historic election for the first Black major party candidate. My candidate won that year. Two years later, the midterms came but everyone thought that our nation had turned corner and forgot to return to the polls.
… but still, I voted.
In 2012, I was a new mother and voting for the very first time as a resident in a red state. It was nap time and our cousin had to sit in the car with a sleeping Sesame…
…but still, I voted.
In 2014, my husband drove me to the polls on my way to teach. Machines were broken and the lines were so long that I had to request a provisional ballot so I could get to work on time.
But still, I voted.
In 2016, I decided to do early voting. I took my 4-year old to the polls with me only to find out that the wait was over 2 hours long.
But still, I voted.
On November 8, 2016, I watched as our nation elected a sexist homophobic white supremacist into office. Something felt like it died inside me. While all my other friends were gearing up for the next part of the fight, I was ready to give up. For the first time in my life, I started to feel political apathy. I had absolutely no faith in the political system at all. I was becoming a complete cynic.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever vote again.
Six weeks after I gave birth to Blueberry in 2017, Mr. S came home and informed me that one of his coworkers had invited us over to meet Stacey Abrams, a black woman, running for governor of Georgia. I was tired but also longing to talk to another grown up, so I agreed to go. I sat there with my new baby in a ring sling in a postpartum haze while everyone mingled and they introduced the Leader Abrams. She started to talk and slowly I started to sit up and listen. I felt hopeful listening to her but the cynic inside me was still so discouraged from the past year that I wasn’t sure. Soon everywhere I turned people were talking about House Leader Abrams running for governor.
I even attended a press conference when the campaign announced their educational initiative. The primaries rolled around and I remembered the sting of 2016…
but still, I voted.
In the months since the primaries, our country has literally become an even bigger hot dumpster fire full of misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and white supremacy. I found the political apathy filling my body up again. Everything is sooo bad… my vote isn’t going to matter, right? I even canceled my lunch date with a friend to early vote last week.
In the past week, Black people have been gunned down at Kroger; Jewish people have been killed in their synagogue, and makeshift bombs have been mailed to prominent Democratic leaders. I’ve lost so much faith in humanity and it’s been so easy to just shut myself up in the house away from the chaos, but this is my country too. So, I rescheduled my voting date with my friend for today, November 1, 2018. Yesterday was Halloween and we were out late, the baby woke up in the middle of the night, the weather sucks, I’m still adjusting to the change in my anti-depressants…
…and still, I voted.
I hope you will too.
