As the year winds down, I’m sure that most of us are setting goals for the new year. You all know that I try and set monthly goals, but I’m definitely working on larger goals as well. While talking to a few of my friends about things we want to achieve in 2015, we also started talking about things we want to leave behind. Of course we all have our personal things, but I shared broader things that I would like to see left in 2014. We also talked about some of the highlights and low points of the year. I planned to write two separate end of the year posts based on those conversations, but I got sucked into reading the Harry Potter series finally and I forgot, so I’m just combining the two.
One of my favorite mommy and sonshine pictures from 2014
There were several things on my list, but since this is a parenting focused blog, I’m going to focus on the number one thing I want to see end in 2014 when it comes to parenting.
Publicly shaming children after they’ve been punished (this seriously could be a post in itself, but I’m going to try and sum it up here)
Over the last few years, there has been an increase in parental punishments going viral. It seemed to start “innocently” at first with parents forcing children to hold up signs shaming them for the “crime” they committed, but now it’s moved to videos, blog posts, and pictures that become radio show fodder. To be clear I’m all for punishing children in creative non-physical ways. I still think my mom removing all my books from my room was the best punishment ever. What I’m not okay with publicly humiliating your child for “likes” and internet popularity. For example, the dad who shared a picture of his daughter in a spray-painted t-shirt w/ her name and age as she stood their crying in what he deemed an age appropriate hairstyle. His daughter had been lying about her age on the internet engaging in inappropriate conversations with older men. Did I think the punishment was creative? Sure, but he shouldn’t have shared this on social media for so many reasons. The internet is FOREVER! That picture will follow his daughter throughout her life and leave her open to more bullying or even to predators who know she’s vulnerable. Next, I don’t believe that publicly embarrassing your child will lead to the creation of a better relationship. If anything you’re effectively shutting down any real conversation about why their behavior is inappropriate. Last, but certainly not least, you are shaming your child in order to receive pats on the back for your parenting. When let’s be honest some times our children’s poor behavior is due to poor parenting, so we need to look at ourselves. You are essentially teaching your child that it is okay to publicly humiliate someone as long as you’re teaching them a lesson. Please stop bullying your children…
Low Points of the Year
Experiencing an awful teaching experience during the spring semester and then having to deal with the death of my husband’s best friend’s wife and my childhood pastor really took a toll on our family. I let the three things compound together and just fell into this slump that I am still working on getting out of at the moment.
Our country’s response to the deaths of unarmed Black/Brown children, women, and men really got me this year. I’ve found myself so enraged that I have to turn off the news and just cuddle with Sesame. I’ve cried so many days and nights out of fear for my husband and son, and even for myself, but I’m turning my anger and fear into resolution. More on that in 2015 🙂
Painting our teal pumpkins and teaching Sesame about being an advocate
High Points of the Year
The biggest personal highlight of this year was FINALLY finding my blogging voice. I managed to allow myself to be vulnerable and truly open up about things that are usually kept quiet. I think that showed through the posts that received the most views this year as well. I’m ready to open up even more in 2015 and I hope you’ll join me.
Top Five Posts of the Year
#1: Out of Sight, Out of Mind: Why White Moms Need to Care About Murdered Black Children
#2: Why I Said White Moms and Answers to Other Questions
#3: “I Am Not Tragically Colored…” Or Am I?
#4: So, Your Friend Just Had a Baby: Dos and Donts
#5: Raising an Advocate: Checking Your Own Prejudice
Honorable Mention: “Feminists are Made…” Three Ways I’m Incorporating Feminist Principles Into My Parenting
One of the best shots from our family photoshoot
