Carleen Turner Is The Epitome of White Mom Privilege
On Monday, I wrote an open letter to Brock Turner’s mother, Carleen Turner. At the time, I couldn’t find her full statement and after reading her husband’s horrifying one, I wondered how she was feeling. I tried to put myself in her position as a boy mom and instead of blaming her for her son’s actions, I offered some advice for how to better handle the situation they’re in at the moment. Most people on social media felt like my letter was kind and very understanding, but then this morning I woke up to messages from people letting me know that Carleen Turner’s statement to the judge had leaked and it wasn’t good. I took a deep breath, wiped the sleep from my eyes, and sat up in the bed to start reading.
Here’s my immediate inner reaction while reading the excerpts…
Then I remembered that sometimes the excerpts don’t tell the entire story, so I decided to read the entire letter and it just … I mean… I legitimately had no words for about five minutes… That’s a long time for me.
And then I felt this…
I’m sure my loyal readers are a bit shocked right now because you all know that I try hard to find the good in every single person. I’m always the one saying “let’s find a solution or lesson in this mess.” But, I just can’t do that right now.
When I did find my voice, I told my online besties, “Carleen Turner is the epitome of white mom privilege.” I’m not going to give yall another lesson on what privilege means right now but you can read this post here and sign up for my first RaA 101 course where we’ll really break it down. I’m warning yall right now that this post is going to remind you of this moment right here. If you don’t want to learn the real deal, stop reading now.
Back on topic, Carleen Turner is the epitome of white mom privilege. What’s white mom privilege you say?
White mom privilege is when you have the ability to FOREVER make your child the victim and give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s always being able to excuse their shitty-ass behavior because no one will deem every white child in the world as unruly when they see them. It’s never having to teach your kid self-surveillance because no one will think you’re an unfit mother if your kid has a tantrum in the grocery store or crawls into a gorilla enclosure. It’s the reason why there’s a #carefreeblackchild hashtag but no #carefreewhitechild hashtag.
Oh and there’s definitely hierarchies to white mom privilege because white boy mom privilege is seriously like winning the fucking lottery in the ultrasound room. Your boy children are carefree from the moment they come out of your womb to the moment they attend a campus party and decide to viciously rape an unconscious girl while being allowed to get off with a fucking slap on the wrist. They become members of the good old boy’s club as soon as you deliver that final push and the doctor announces “it’s a boy.” When they say “boys will be boys,” white boy moms know that means their sons are off the hook for whatever fucked shit they choose to do that day.
So, why is Carleen Turner the epitome of white mom privilege? Because she could write a FOUR FUCKING PAGE letter to the judge detailing her child’s ability to make his mediocrity seem exceptional
Carleen Turner has the privilege of detailing how hard her boy worked at swimming and how this case has ruined him…
Carleen Turner can lament the fact that she hasn’t been able to decorate her new home because all she can think about is how much of a victim her RAPIST son is…
Carleen Turner can talk about how sweet her son was with his high school girlfriend and mention his fucking puppy like he’s being charged with petty theft…
Carleen Turner can lament how her son has changed…
She can do all of this without showing ONE OUNCE of sympathy or empathy for the woman that he VICIOUSLY RAPED!!!
NEWSFLASH: Carleen Turner, you are NOT the victim! Your family members ARE NOT the victims! Your son is NOT a victim! He is a RAPIST!!! I get it, you love your son and it’s hard to face the facts but he did a HORRIFIC thing and you continue to justify it. What if someone did that to your daughter? How would you feel if they got a fucking slap on the wrist and their mother talked about how she can’t decorate her NEW house because she’s just so sad?!?!?
Need another example of white mom privilege? Tonya Couch, affluenza teen’s mom. You know the kid who killed several people while driving drunk and got off on probation because being rich made him do it. The mom who helped him leave the country after violating his probation? Yea… white mom privilege.
You know who doesn’t have the luxury of white boy mom privilege? Sybrina Fulton, Lezley McSpadden, Samaria Rice, Wanda Johnson, Geneva Reed-Veal, and the list goes on and on and fucking on.
If you’re reading this and you’re a white mom ready to confront her privilege and be part of the solution, check out Raising an Advocate 101.