If you followed me on The Celeb Mommy, then you know that I wrote my son a letter very early in the pregnancy; and it was my intention to write him letters once a week. Well that didn’t exactly work out for numerous reasons, but now that time is winding down I really want to sit down and write him more letters. For several reasons–I want to be able to look back on these letters in moments of frustration and remind myself the promises I made to him before he was born. I also want him to have something to look back on when I’m no longer with him.
Today’s letter was inspired by one of my favorite artists, India.Arie. About a week or two ago, I was having one of my “moments,” so I turned on my India.Arie playlist to help me relax and calm down. Well two of her songs “Good Man” and “The Truth” both played back to back and it gave me an idea for a new letter to write to our son. So many times we focus on the mother’s role during pregnancy and childhood, and overlook the father. I wanted my son to know why I chose my husband as his father, and yes this was a choice.
Dear Baby S:
It’s been a while since I’ve written you a letter, but I talk to you daily 🙂 You’re still really tiny, the size of a pineapple, and this is something that is probably a little serious for you; but I hope when you’re old enough to understand these words you’ll appreciate this letter.
This is going to get a little mushy and you might be grossed out, but I promise you’ll love it in the long run. Today I want to tell you why I chose your father. You know the man with the deep voice who talks to you through mommy’s belly every night? The man whose voice causes you scurry across mommy’s belly and snuggle in the corner next to him? That’s your daddy!
When I met your dad five years ago, we were working at a school, and the first thing I noticed about him (well after his hair) was the fact that he was surrounded by kids. Every time I saw him there were little kids calling his name and giving him big hugs. Well as you will soon know, mommy comes from a really big family… you have 6 aunties and 2 uncles and they are all younger than me. So, I learned very early to pay attention to how men behave around children, since family is important. I didn’t know your dad at that point or if I would ever talk to him besides a hi/bye situation, but I knew that the kids liked him and that was important.
After we met officially (that’s a story for later and maybe daddy should tell it to you), I realized that not only did the kids love him, but he loved them as well. You’ll find this out soon, but your daddy is a teacher and a middle school football coach. Every time I see him interact with the young men on the football team it makes me smile, because he takes his job very seriously, and he’s one of the only role models most of these young men see. They respect him and you can tell they don’t want to disappoint him. His interactions with them let me know that he’s going to make sure you grow up to be a respectful and upstanding young man.
I chose your dad, because I knew that family meant everything to him; no matter what he’s doing if his sisters (your aunties) need him he’s there. I chose your dad because of the way his face lights up when he talks about his family and his childhood; I knew he would make sure you have the same. I chose your dad, because even before meeting your aunts and uncles in person he knew all their names and could tell them apart. I chose your dad, because he taught me to be a better big sister. My family became just as important to him as his own. I chose your dad, because I knew that he would help you grow into a man in ways that I don’t understand. I chose your dad, because no matter what we went through he’s always been there for me and taken care of me, so I know he’ll do the same for you. I chose your dad because I knew his beautiful peanut butter skin mixed with my milk chocolate tone would make a gorgeous Reese Cup.
I know that you and your dad won’t always get along, but I want you to remember that no matter what he loves you and wants the very best for you.
Did you write letters to your unborn child? Do you write letters to your sons/daughters? What do you tell them?